lipstick and callous
i was trying to get a cute selfie with my sleeping puppy but i accidentally woke him up in the process so this is actually a photo of him kicking me in the ribs. 

i was trying to get a cute selfie with my sleeping puppy but i accidentally woke him up in the process so this is actually a photo of him kicking me in the ribs. 

hello dearest tumblr followers. this post is to reassure y’all that i’m still alive. my family was here for like a month so i was not really able to tumbl for a while. i’ll be back to posting way too many songs a day after i have a day or two to recover. 

xoxo

-b

"Let’s make sure history never forgets the name Enterprise.”

Fun. - The Gambler
56,143 plays

fuckyeahournameisfun:

The Gambler - fun.

I swear when I grow up, I won’t just buy you a rose. I will buy the flower shop and you will never be lonely.

stillmonkeys:

The Meloys are my favorite family. Sorry Tennenbaums.

Do you have a shorter name?

queercarlos:

REFASHION: a compilation of ladies singing songs originally sung by men. + [ LISTEN ]

i. high for this - ellie goulding (the weeknd) // ii. bohemian rhapsody - p!nk (queen) // iii. sail - macy gray (awolnation) // iv. little lion man - tonight alive (mumford & sons) // v. get lucky - daughter (daft punk) // vi. don’t you worry child - within temptation (swedish house mafia) // vii. wicked games - cœur de pirate (the weeknd) // viii. take care - florence + the machine (drake ft. rihanna) // ix. somebody that i used to know - ingrid michaelson (gotye) // x. there is a light that never goes out - sara lov (the smiths) // xi. smile - janelle monáe (nat king cole) // xii. bizarre love triangle - frente! (new order) // xiii. how soon is now - t.a.t.u. (the smiths) // xiv. it takes a muscle - mia (spectral display) // xv. oh! darling - florence and the machine (the beatles) // xvi. everybody wants to rule the world - lorde (tears for fears) // xvii. take on me - anni b. sweet (a-ha) // xviii. we will rock you - beyoncé, britney spears & p!nk (queen) // xix. i bet you look good on the dancefloor - baby charles (arctic monkeys) // xx. real love - regina spektor (john lennon) // xxi. your song - ellie goulding (elton john) // xxii. starstrukk - marina and the diamonds (3oh!3) // xxiii. lover of the light - rita ora (mumford & sons) // xxiv. you just haven’t earned it yet baby - kirsty maccoll (the smiths) // xxv. young volcanoes - tiffany alvord (fall out boy) // xxvi. don’t think twice, it’s all right - ke$sha (bob dylan) // xxvii. underdog - kelly rowland (kasabian) // xxviii. no surprises - regina spektor (radiohead) // xxix. paranoia android - sia (radiohead) // xxx. what do you want from me? - p!nk (adam lambert) // xxxi. let her go - within temptation (passenger) // xxxii. i want you back - janella monáe (jackson 5) // xxxiii. we are young - little mix (fun.) // xxxiv. rebel rebel - tegan & sara (david bowie) // xxxv. mirrors - ellie goulding (justin timberlake) // xxxvi. the district sleeps alone - birdy (the postal service)

"Is there a problem with my burger?"

Andrew Bird - Fake Palindromes
3,531 plays

whichistosay:

fake palindromes by andrew bird [lyrics]

whiskey-plied voices cried, “fratricide! jesus, don’t you know that you could have died? you should have died.”

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?